I was working for The Republic newspaper as a graphic designer in Columbus, IN. I had been hired in July of 1999 about two months after I graduated from the local two year college, Ivy Tech State College, which has now changed their name to Ivy Tech Community College. I’m not exactly sure why they changed the name. I mean really, what does it really change? You change one word expecting a huge difference in what? Enrollment? You’re still in the same school right by the other local college which is also right by the airport. Anyway...
I grew up with great parents and two older brothers who were protective of their little brother. My brothers are and were pretty athletic. They played high school basketball and baseball. Later, they both went on to play for their college. One in basketball and one in baseball. So with that to compete with, I was just myself. I knew I wasn't going to make the basketball team even though I was consistently told, "Bodart, you can really shoot. But you're just not fast enough." So I made the cut list 3 years in a row. I didn't even try out my senior year because I just assumed I would get cut. I was tracked down in a hallway by the varsity coach Bill Stearman, "Hey Bodart! Hey why didn't I see you at try-outs? I wouldn't have cut you." One word for that? Awesome. Good to know after the fact. So that's just one of the regrets I have from high school. But at any rate, I excelled at art. I loved drawing and painting. I even loved acting. When I was a senior, I worked up the courage to audition for the school production of "A Christmas Carol". My buddy Seth was the theatre version of The Fonzie. Everyone loved Seth. Seth talked me into auditioning so I did and I made it. I loved it. I wished I had done it sooner. So in that period of my life, since I couldn't play sports, I was silly and goofy and any other adjective you wanna throw in there. I became the class clown.
I embraced being the class clown. Honing my skills in the classroom would later help with honing my skills for the stage.
I talked about doing stand up for years prior to getting on stage for the first time. But I seriously started considering it after I saw my first comedy show in 1999 at One Liners Comedy Club in Greenwood, IN. I saw James Gregory and Todd Tony perform. I later met Todd a couple of years later who unfortunately died of a drug overdose few years after that. He was a funny guy with a troubled life.
I started writing a few jokes that same year. I mean, hey if I’m gonna do this, I should probably find out if I can write a joke. At the same time, I dropped by the local library to check out any book on stand up comedy I could find. I found one called, “Careers in Comedy” It was a decent book. It was actually pretty small. It was basically everything the title said. It listed careers as writers, comedian... and maybe one other profession. Hell I don't know. It was a long time ago! I'm pretty sure there are more careers than that but I don't remember much listed in the book. I read it and set out to write more jokes.
I called One Liners Comedy Club in late 2000 to see if they had an open mic. night. I was told, “Well we’ve thought about starting one. But no we don’t have one right now.” Now what the hell was I going to do? Someone told me that there was another club in Indianapolis that I could try. I found it! Crackers Comedy Club was the place.
In January of 2001 I called to find out how to get on that sacred stage. On the other end of the phone, a man told me that open mic nights were on Monday nights. “It looks like there’s a spot open on this monday. You want it?” Holy crap! It’s on Monday?! “Umm no. Is there something a little later that I can get on” I was booked to appear two weeks later on Monday, February 19, 2001. I was told that I had to come see an open mic night at least once to see how things are done before I could perform.
I asked a good friend of mine, Jeff Rocker, to go with me to see how an open mic night is done. He and I sat near the stage to watch the show. I couldn’t stop looking around. I was amazed, probably because I was thinking, “I’m going to be on that stage in 2 weeks”, so let me change my underwear now. I was a little nervous at the thought. But I knew I absolutely had to do it.
I had been writing for a long time to prepare for this night. I memorized everything I was going to say. I was told I was going to do 6 minutes. Good Lord that’s such a long time!
Two weeks later I went back to the club with my friend Jeff. I was dressed in my button down shirt, dress slacks and a sport coat. I mean that’s what every favorite comic of mine I saw on TV was wearing. That’s what I was supposed to do! Right?
I grew up watching VH1’s Stand Up Spotlight and other various shows featuring comedians. I watched “Star Search” long enough to get to the comedians. I stayed up late as a kid so I could watch “The Tonight show with Johnny Carson”. I loved watching his monologue and when I heard him on various nights say that there was a comedian on that night I waited with my tired eyes open and ready to watch in wonderment. I knew what I was doing. I was trained and ready to make that crowd at Crackers Comedy Club laugh!
Another comic that night told me that since I was new, I was only allowed 3 mins. to perform that night. On the outside I was pissed! How could this be? I mean I was told 6 damn minutes asshole! But on the inside I was a little relieved. It was like someone pulled the warm security blanket of confidence over my whole body. I relaxed a little. I mean 6 minutes of jokes was a challenge to memorize. But 3 minutes! That’s awesome! I know I got 3 minutes. It’s all good everybody! Don’t worry. I got this.
I don’t remember if the guy who announced me was in the sound booth or on stage. But I do remember him yelling, “...and welcome the next comic coming to the stage, Jeff Boatzanne (I tried to spell it like it sounded) and I was immediately let down. I mean c’mon buddy! My name is Jeff Bodart damnit!
BO and DART! How difficult is that!? I’m already a dick. Why is that? Hmm.
I don’t remember my first joke, but I remember my second one and neither one got a laugh. The second joke was, “You know the best advice my dad has ever given me is, shhhhhhh wait until they smell it.” God that’s funny. Right? I was a comedy god with that line. As I continued to bomb, I remember something coming over me, probably fear. I mean hadn’t planned for this! This was all comedy gold wasn’t it?
I just let loose and became myself. I didn’t worry about reciting my act word for word anymore. I wasn’t going to screw this up. I started hearing laughter. I wasn't sure what I did or said but something was making that crowd laugh. I couldn't believe it. I was exhilarated. I mean it was such an amazing feeling that no one really can understand unless they have been up there on that stage. I don’t remember much after I got my first laugh that night. I do have the tape though. I just haven’t watched it in several years. I remember getting the light from the sound booth, signaling me to finish up and get off the stage. But I believe I said, “Um, yeah. I don’t know what that light means.” I even got a laugh from that. I thought at the time it was funny but I think they laughed because they knew the jackass they saw on stage doesn’t even know what he’s doing.
I left the stage that night with the crowd laughing and actually cheering. I had never experienced that before that night. I was on cloud nine. The hell with sports I'm funny! I was so high from that moment. I remember thinking, “I don’t wanna do anything else now” I got a taste of a “drug” that night. I rode back home to Columbus with Jeff driving. We didn’t stop talking about my performance the whole drive back. It was truly a life changing moment that I of course, will never forget.
Just to let you know, the second time I got on stage to perform was less memorable. I didn’t get a laugh at all I think. But it’s ok. I was already hooked and begging for stage time from my dealer, the comedy club.
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